what if I wouldn't exist tomorrow?

I've heard "I really care about u"

It doesn't feel like it...
I haven't heard it before I was almost kill myself

Then  I heard it

Know what I mean?
I've heard many times someone else saying to hes/she's friend " I love you,I have missed you so much,I really care about you,You're such a lovely person..."
Not to me...
I've said those things


That why I feel so lonely


Aaahg my head is just a big mess...and so is my heart to